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Saturday, September 02, 2006

"Bad Bizness" review

Bad Bizness (2003)
AKA More Mercy

Directed by Jim Wynorski
Writing credits Sean McGinly

Traci Bingham .... Sandra Marshall
Master P .... Mr. Carlson
Brent Huff .... Pete Springer
Belinda Gavin .... Carrie Sherman
Regina Russell .... Angela Summers
Julie K. Smith .... Alexa Kingston
Mia Zottoli

I bought this video for three bucks. Looking at the cover and the back of the video box, you might think that this was some sort of urban thriller. Master P is featured prominently on the front of the box while a hot black babe is on the front and the back looking sexy. I can assure you that this is false advertising as "Bad Bizness" is all about T&A in a tropical hotel. That's the good news. The bad news is that "Bad Bizness" is bad news.

Here's some more proof that I'm watching too many B-movies. "Bad Bizness" is set in a tropical hotel where swimsuit models are getting knocked off. Not only is the plot of this movie almost identical to "Final Examination", it also uses the exact same hotel as that movie. When I saw the waterfall by the pool, I knew I had seen this hotel before. The scene in the hot tub clinches it. I think that was the same blonde having sex in the hot tub as well. Talk about B-movie economics. They must have had an extra two weeks at the hotel so they decided to film an extra movie.

"Bad Bizness" has a ton of T&A. Two of my favorites are in it. Julie Smith, (the reason I bought the movie), has a short sex scene with Regina Russell. Nice. Good stuff. By the way, have I ever mentioned how much I love Julie Smith's breasts? I might have talked about them before, like a couple of hundred times. I don't think it can be said enough. They are objects of perfection. When I think perfect breasts, I think Julie Smith. When you see them, and you must, you will become a believer too. Julie Smith's sex scene is the only good thing about this movie.

As an added bonus, Mia Zottoli shows up as a stripper at the very beginning. As we all know, any movie that starts off in a strip club has got to be good on some level. There are a few other babes who get topless as well. The main star, Traci Bingham, does not get naked. I have no idea why. Her breasts were heaving under tight dresses but they could not find daylight. That was disappointing but I guess I'll live.

The rest of "Bad Bizness" was pretty bad. No one cared about solving the mystery of the strangled girls. Not the characters nor the audience or even the filmmakers gave it a second thought. The two hotel cops bumbled around the hotel while Master P called from Vegas to check on the progress of the B-movie. For a T&A party, "Bad Bizness" is not bad. For anything else, "Bad Bizness" is...well...you know. Starts with a B and rhymes with GLAD. Like, I'm so GLAD I saw Julie Smith naked one more time.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 because I got another chance to talk about Julie Smith's amazing breasts

2 comments:

Julie K Smith said...

DR.GORE, CAN I TELL U THIS WAS THE SWEATIEST SET ID EVER BEEN ON!! THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A FILM GONE REALLY BAD, EVEN AFTER THE INFAMOUS 'JIM WYNORSKI' WAS CALLED IN TO SAVE IT! SOME THINGS ARE NOT WORTH SAVING, BUT WHATEVES...REGINA AND I MADE THE MOST OF IT, AND WE ENJOYED THE MOST OF IT HEHEHE...

Michael Whiteacre said...

Doc, as the experience of my first directorial effort demonstrated, having the wonderful Julie Smith in the cast elevates any movie. Beautiful, professional (no drama -- yay!!!) and really really good. I basically threw a bunch of stuff at her cold, and she turned in the best, and one of the funniest, scenes in the movie. I love JKS!