Thursday, November 02, 2006

"Blood Turkey" review

Blood Turkey (1972)
AKA Blood Freak

Directed by Brad F. Grinter Steve Hawkes
Writing credits Brad F. Grinter Steve Hawkes

Steve Hawkes .... Herschell
Dana Cullivan
Heather Hughes

I saw this with my brother and his friends. They drove down, from out of state, with one goal in mind: To see a bad B-movie. They wanted to test me. They wanted to see if I had something special waiting for them. Most of them had never seen a real B-flick before. The flies were in my web. It was time for "Blood Turkey".

I had been waiting for this moment. I was saving "Blood Turkey" for just the right occasion. You don't want to rush into some B-movie disasterpieces too quickly. It will spoil the pain. You've got to spread the love around.

Speaking of pain, let me tell you about "Blood Turkey". WOOOOOOOOOOOW! What exquiste agony! My brother and his friends were shaken to the bone after seeing this. They still talk about "Blood Turkey" to this day. "Blood Turkey" is about a guy who does drugs and turns into a turkey monster. YES! It's even worse than it sounds!

When the aliens land on Earth and ask me what mankind has accomplished, I will show them "Blood Turkey". The Earth will then be vaporized. We were hopeless. We made a movie like Blood Turkey and called it entertainment. It was for our own good.

I was going to take a sledgehammer to this video but decided against it. It's so over the top "WOW!" bad that it needs to be preserved for the upcoming alien invasion. Maybe put into a time capsule to be dug up in the future. It is in a class all its own. Good Lord is it bad.


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