Bulletproof Monk (2003)
Directed by Paul Hunter
Writing credits Ethan Reiff Cyrus Voris
Yun-Fat Chow .... Monk With No Name (as Chow Yun-Fat)
Seann William Scott .... Kar
Jaime King .... Jade
Karel Roden .... Strucker
Victoria Smurfit .... Nina
Chow Yun-Fat makes a kiddie action movie. He's a monk. The "Bulletproof Monk". He protects a powerful scroll that the bad guys want. He journeys to America to find a new guardian for the scroll. He comes across Stifler from "American Pie" and decides he is funny enough to hang onto the magic scroll. Fighting and B-movie goofiness commence.
I always try to get a feel for how a movie is going to be by checking out two things before the flick starts. One is the trailers they put before the movie. The other is the makeup of the audience. "Jeepers Creepers 2" was one of the trailers. I found this to be encouraging. Then I took a look at the audience. All families. All with little kids. I knew I was sunk.
"Bulletproof Monk" is not a bad flick. It's just a very juvenile movie. Much more so than I anticipated. Chow Yun-Fat is not in his usual mass killing mood. Of course he's a monk so that shouldn't be too surprising. One scene has him in his iconic pose with a gun in each hand. You can't help but cheer. But instead of blasting the bad guys away in slow motion, he shoots the guns out of their hands like he's in some Wild West show. Tragic.
Seann William Scott, (Kar/Stifler forever), shows up as the fast talking American who Chow takes a liking to. He is the Golden Child that Chow must protect and nurture. Scott is a funny guy. Although he bulked up for this role, I can't see him as a tough guy action hero. There was some mighty stretching going on to buy his kung fu routine.
On the plus side, the big fight at the end was good. Any movie with a super strong Nazi doing battle with a monk I have to like in some way. But the rest of the movie was very tame. It was a little too jokey and adolescent. Chow Yun-Fat and kiddie action movies are not the mix B-movie fans crave.
SCORE: 2 out of 4 Golden Child Stiflers