Saturday, November 25, 2006

"The Core" review

The Core (2003)

Directed by Jon Amiel
Writing credits Cooper Layne John Rogers

Aaron Eckhart .... Dr. Josh Keyes
Hilary Swank .... Maj. Rebecca Childs
Delroy Lindo .... Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzleton
Stanley Tucci .... Dr. Conrad Zimsky
DJ Qualls .... Theodore Donald 'Rat' Finch
Richard Jenkins .... Gen. Thomas Purcell
Tchéky Karyo .... Dr. Serge Leveque
Bruce Greenwood .... Cmdr. Robert Iverson
Alfre Woodard .... Dr. Talma Stickley

One of my concerns before seeing this film was whether or not there would be any surprises under the Earth. As far as my limited understanding of the Earth goes, there's just rock and magma under the ground. So what could they whip out to make "The Core" cool? There were a few cool spots but "The Core" needed to take out an emergency movie loan from the bank to pump up their F/X.

So the usual gaggle of eggheads and military people hop aboard the U.S.S. Penis and proceed to penetrate the Earth's Crust in order to reach "The C-spot". Once there, they will eject their cargo in hopes of stimulating the Earth and making it come to life.

"The Core" probably sounded pretty awesome on paper. "It's like "Armageddon" except we dive into the Earth instead of outer space. Instead of asteroids, there are rocks! Underground!" The script called for a lot of chaos and destruction. It sounded good. But the piggy bank was empty. There were a lot of effects but they weren't that special. I should have been more astonished at seeing multiple nuclear explosions underground. I wasn't. The Earth's core looked like the inside of a lava lamp.

"The Core" wasn't too bad. I had an OK time. It just felt like a summer movie wannabe. Somebody should have given this bad boy a cash infusion. There should be low interest loans at the bank for just such emergencies. "Give me a $10 million disaster flick loan! My Rome destruction scene looks like a lego set! Help!"

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 out of control special effects - Well, not really

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